A guest writing- Jesus on robots

I’m just a normal person, all I want in life is a tract of land, barrels of moonshine, many beautiful women and a head full of memories. And money. But it seems that my memory is going to be raped. Horribly and violently raped by the bastards that make up many major corporations. I always wanted to grow up and share with my many bastard children the joy of my childhood. This though seems like a forlorn fantasy.

 

My memories of food for example, gone are the day of the mighty Marathon bar but to be replaced by the poor and annoying Snickers. Or the supermarkets. I hate them. I would elaborate on that point but at this moment I am too bored to carry on with this train of thought. Fuck off. I don’t see you writing an article. Got complaints? Email me at Nobodycaresyoufuckingpleb@fuckoff.com.

Back to my original rant of the perversion of my childhood. The memories I hold dearest are those of my favourite comic book and cartoon characters. They ruled. Honestly, if we had the X-men or the Autobots covering our arses in Iraq we would be sorted. But now I must demonstrate the gross deformation of our favourite people.

Look once upon a time Optimus Prime was super cool and no one would mess with his shit. HE had a big fuck off gun and was generally badass. HE would do what was necessary and while doing it he would deliver awesome one liners and have cheesy music accompanying him. Now I will demonstrate what has happened to him.

 

Look what happened. Stupid fat balding fucking idiots ruined him. I cried for three weeks after seeing this. I almost died from dehydration and I flooded two thirds of Bangladesh. That’s what this man is responsible for. Not only the raping of my childhood but genocide as well.

 

 

I was actually going to do an intelligent and well-structured argument on the slow downfall of superheroes and that animation has declined and storyline has disappeared and been replaced by poor action and bad villains. Instead I got bored and flooded a nation. I am a bad man.

I will quickly mention Batman in passing. He was my best friend, I used to watch him, study him, knew his routine. In short he was just like me ex girlfriend. Actually, scrap that point.

What was I talking about? What? You want me to stop randomly digressing form points? Great, I want you mum to stop digressing from my point…. Or some other witty comeback.

 

Well it looks like I have lost what I was talking about completely though I did remember I mentioned many beautiful women at the start of my scribble. I therefore give you this:

 

Yeh, that what you get when you type random into google images. Yeh.

 

Nice.